Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Hate IUFD's

We've had 5 IUFD's (Intra-Uterine Fetal Demise) in the last week. 21wks, 33wks, 32 wks, 35wks and 36wks. Come on! That is WAY, WAY, WAY too many. I haven't taken care of a demise in a long time, since that one last Christmas that hit me so hard. I feel like I've helped with almost every one, but last night was the first one that I've actually taken care of since last December.

I hate them so much. All these babies who never have a chance, most of the time we never even know what happens. Mine last night was a rare case, he had a chromosome anomaly that the parent's had known about for most of the pregnancy. They were prepared, then were expecting something like this, and they knew exactly what they wanted. That makes it so much easier on us nurses, and in some ways, I think it makes it easier (at the time) for the parents. They had all their family there, they had all the little outfits for him there, they had their cameras, they had a name, they had everything and they had a plan.

The baby was perfect. He was handsome, adorable, and looked AMAZINGLY good for probably being dead for going on 36-48hrs. I was thankful for that. Mom, Dad, and all the family got to hold him. Dad got to give him a bath, they took picture after picture, they all helped with footprints, I did plaster molds for them, and when I left, Dad was sleeping in the recliner with baby on his chest. Wow.

I hate IFUD's. They're my least favorite part of OB nursing, because they're not fair. Not fair at all. And there's nothing that I can do to prevent them.

Babies today: 1m
Babies total: 58M/68F = 126
Vag:44M/51F = 95
C/S: 14M17F = 31
Babies 'caught' = 2f0.5m


  1. I am a NICU nurse so I do not catch IUFD babies, only occasionally to support the L&d nurses. They really do take a toll emotionally on the staff. By far the worst ones for me are the IUFD's at 38 plus weeks with a normal baby. Those never make sense, and I feel there is something wrong with the universe when they happen.

  2. It's obvious why the little boy passed (chromosomal issues) but why all the others? Were they also genetic issues? Did those families know? It's just so incredibly sad regardless!

    I had one at 7-8 weeks pregnant (actual fetal demise, not blighted ovum). But I couldn't imagine having it happen in the 3rd trimester! I write all of this as I feel my own little baby push and roll inside of me at 30 weeks pregnant.

    I wish I knew what to say. I'm sure seeing all of this puts you in a funk (it would to me!). *HUGS*

  3. My son and partner have just lost their son at 38 weeks, she was in to be induced today and on arrival told that their son had no heart beat. They went in to hospital this morning expecting to come home with their little boy, now they have a funeral to plan. The world definately does not make any sense.

  4. I am so sorry about your son's baby. I can only imagine the pain you and he and the rest of the family are feeling. That baby was loved as much as possible even if they never took a breath. One day you will see your grandchild again. Thoughts and prayers to your family.

  5. I agree that IUFD's are horrible and difficult. The first time I took care of an IUFD mom I was orienting to labor and delivery. After almost three days of Pit, she delivered a beautiful, seemingly perfect 38 week baby girl. I could not get that dead baby out of my head for several days after. It was heartbreaking.
    What is so important is that we let the moms and dads know that we recognize their loss and that we offer them the opportunity to "parent" that child before they leave the hospital.
    I hear you, sister. Keep on keepin on.

  6. Hi! My name is Sarah and I'm currently doing an internship in the gynecology ward of a teaching hospital in The Gambia, West Africa. I just happened to stumble upon your blog and I love it! I thought you might find my blog interesting:
    Keep blogging!
    -Sarah Brown

  7. I've read your stories about IUFD's & i really understand how you feel. I'm not a nurse..but I have had IUFD twice..both in the last fact they happened within the 9th month. It was devastating..never knowing why it happened when check-ups showed that everything's normal. The 2nd IUFD happened 4 years ago. Until now, I'm so afraid to get pregnant again..scared to see the perinatal specialist that I'm supposed to see. I haven't recovered yet, after all. I almost went out of my mind the 2nd time..always waiting for a crying live baby to hold in my arms. It's so hard not to feel this way..envying those who have so many kids they can't care for...while some of us would give anything just to have one.... Please pray for a miracle for me..

  8. I most definately understand what parents go through. I lost two at 37 & 38 weeks. First one unknown, second one placenta seperated from uterus. So much pain, and sadness that comes from these loses. I have a friend that just experienced this today(2nd time) she is heartbroken & confused. I continue to pray for parents during difficult times like this. Thanks for this blog. Im in nursing school now and debating on which route I was wanting to take. New insight. :-)